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Showing posts from September, 2013

Splitting Hairs

    I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned my hair a few times. I think we need to delve into it a bit further. You see, when it takes a $200 trip off-Island to get a haircut, or new underpants for that matter, you take a haircut seriously. Besides, when you’ve got the broad shoulders and the wide hips, you rely on your hair as a sort of aphrodisiac, if you know what I mean.                 I’ve been thinking about a haircut for about 8 months now. Did I mention life chugs along pretty slowly around these parts, giving me plenty of time for watching paint dry or the grass grow? Anyhow, I came to the decision that I should go ahead and do it even though more than one woman here told me she left her last appointment at the hair salon in tears. Hey, it takes more than a crappy haircut for me to turn on the waterworks. And naturally I consider tears over a haircut pretty much wasted. There are so many other crappy things to cry over, so I try to save my tears for things that have a heartbea

Commas, they come and go

      Does laziness count as an excuse? I think I tried to tell my kids it doesn’t but it seems very applicable here.    It’s sort of difficult to keep a blog going. You’re all excited in the beginning. You think everyone will read it. Maybe somebody in NYC will read it and you’ll become famous like in Julie/Julia or something. And then you sort of realize…that was a movie…and then you slow way down on posts. That’s my story.     That and I do have a job now. My job is all about commas and semicolons and it’s so perfect for me. The world could be experiencing like a major, major disaster with Armageddon on top of it and I’d be like, “Wait a minute…did you just make ‘after school’ one word? And there’s no hyphen? Oh is that where we’re going with this?”      I know Syria is having a little something and Pope Francis is rocking my Catholic world, but right now, if you try to capitalize something I’m going to Google that shit.      So I hope those of you who read this a