Skip to main content

Empathy, what's that?



I don’t know about the rest of you ladies, but whenever my husband — or anyone else in my family for that matter — gets sick with a stomach virus or the flu or a common cold, I’m about as empathetic as a five-pound bag of potatoes. 

When my husband Chris gets sick I’m okay with it for about three hours, but any discomfort he may have that lasts longer than that is apt to start my eyes to rolling. I don’t have any idea why I do this, and, while I’m doing it, I actually realize how mean it is. And I keep right on doing it. 

People my age typically try to work on their problem areas, trying to curb some of their bad habits. Instead, when Chris gets sick I tend NOT to be nice to him. This time it has taken me five days to bring him a glass of ice water or to offer to open a can of soup for him. I’ve watched him go through a giant box of Kleenex, and three rolls of toilet paper after he ran out of the Kleenex. Did I offer to go to the store for more tissues? No. Did I offer to make him some hot tea? No. Did I roll my eyes and ask him to please pick up the tissue he dropped on the floor? Yes. Did I secretly calculate just how many rolls he was using, cutting into my enormous toilet paper supply? Yes. I’m not proud of this. 

My ambivalence towards Chris’s cold may be partly due to the fact that I’m jealous that he’s home while I’m having sciatica spasms every time I bend down to put a book on the bottom shelf at the library where I work. If I had any sense at all I’d enroll in some old lady yoga class. For some reason I fancy myself above stretching. I like to pretend the extra 50 pounds I’m  carrying around are fine just where they are, and they definitely do not keep me from being 100 percent. On the contrary, the extra 50 is still less than that 67-pound bag of fat that Oprah wheeled out on stage in that Radio Flyer a while back. I’d never let it get to 67 pounds, please, that’s way too fat. 

All week long, every time Chris blows his nose I’m thinking, “What the hell? When’s this going to stop? Can a person make himself sneeze? That’s it, I bet he’s doing this on purpose.” 

Who thinks this way? Taking every single crappy thing that happens in the universe as a personal affront is sort of my hallmark. Sometimes I secretly cry at those UNICEF commercials and yet I ask my own husband when he thinks he might wrap up this cold nonsense, because I’m so over it.

You know karma is out there, and it’s only a matter of time before it comes back around and bites me in the ass. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Be Careful What You Wish For

                 I have married myself. I don’t know how I did it, but I managed to meet the male version of me, right down to the weight insecurities and the penchant for fart jokes. Between us our combined age is somewhere around 19.                 This brings me great joy.                 I had decided after many long distance phone calls from my sister that I really wasn’t going to meet a nice guy by sitting on the couch in my living room. I needed to get out. “You’re not getting any younger,” she egged me on. “You know, those kids are going to grow up and leave you and then what are you going to do?”                 So one Saturday night I let the kids help doll me u...

Life of the Party

   So I picked out my funeral music years ago. It features Steppenwolf in the forefront. I'm pretty sure I can think of some Syracuse priests who would bend a couple of rules and blast some Magic Carpet Ride for me. Believe me, they've done worse. That's why I love them. Anywho, I do spend more than a little time thinking about how I'd like my "after party" to play out. I'm nothing if not morbid. These things are important to me.    First of all, I want a kegger. Absofuckinglutely. And I want there to be all manner of food just like I like it. Huge portions, bottomless red plastic cups. You get the picture. The music is key and must include Steppenwolf, a fantastic Motown medley, Mony Mony, maybe a Monkees song, a little Led Zeppelin and definitely some Levon Helm. And if there's time left and people are feeling sappy, a couple of Van Morrison songs. I'm thinking as I write this that I want to go to this party. Jeez.    And you know I'll be t...

He sells sea shells, I wish

   So now rather than being obsessed with fake fingernails I can’t afford, I’m becoming obsessed with checking this blog. I’m pretty sure all 52 views were made by either me or my husband.   That leads me right into the current situation at hand. We need friends. We’re desperate for them. I’ve started handing out my telephone number to people I meet while doing my meager freelance work. They think it’s for the story I’m writing but really it’s in hope that someday they’ll find a reason to call and then I can hit them with, “By the way, do you play cards? Bingo? Gin Rummy?” If I wasn’t so arthritic I’d throw Twister in there.    It’s not so much for me, it’s my husband who likes to have people around. I have become hermit-like since moving here while he has become convinced we could die here and not be found for months. He had friends back in Syracuse but he chose to stay home at night with his loving wife. Now all of a sudden I get the impression he’d h...