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Showing posts from October, 2013

The Lottery

I bought some lottery tickets today. They were $2 tickets so we all know I didn’t become a millionaire. I know. I’m 52 years old and haven’t changed a diaper in 18 years but I still get a kick out of a six pack and a fistful of scratchers.
If I had a nickel for every time I daydreamed about winning the lottery I would have been a millionaire years ago. I get to thinking about how I’d hire a cleaning lady to scrub the dried toothpaste out of the sink every Thursday. I’d probably make some coffee for her or offer her some iced tea. I’d be quite pleasant to her. I wouldn’t want her to clean while I’m not here of course. She might take off with my collection of stretched-out underwear I got from my sister 10 years ago, 3 years after she wore them.    I’d love to have a cleaning lady. And after I hire her, I’m spending some money on liposuction and some new leggings to go with my big tops. I may look around for an electrolysis provider.
   Some people immediately go out and buy a new …