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Hair Care

   I'd like to know how other people approach getting a haircut. Do you look at the magazines and pick one or do you know exactly what you want before you go to the hairdresser? Do you consider how your favorite haircut will look on your face or do you just go for it?
    I have asked for Meg Ryan's haircut for the past 12 years and I still haven't gotten it. Every cut looks like a shorter version of the same triangle of hair I've worn for the past 10 years. One cut looked a lot like my brother's hair in the summer of 1968.
    My latest attempt to replicate Meg's hair during the You've Got Mail days was met with a question from the girl who was about to do an Edward Scissorhands on me. She said, "So, you want the bottom trimmed and then you want the sides feathered, right?" Feathered. I haven't even heard that word in reference to my hair since 1981. How could she even know that term in 2014 and where did she attend school? Hoosier's Hairdressing? Unbelievable. Needless to say, I left there a cross between Kristy McNichol and Melissa McCarthy.
    I will never understand why they can't just look at the photos of Meg Ryan and make me look like that. Seriously, it can't be that difficult.
    On top of my strong desire to look like the Meg Ryan I know God wants me to be, I have this wiry gray hair now. And to be nice, the hairdressers all say the same thing . . . "Well, looky there. You've got some wave in your hair. This cut will be perfect for you."
    Meanwhile, I've lost half a head of hair to my lack of vitamin D because I spend all the daylight hours with my ever-spreading ass sitting on a desk chair. My hair isn't the same as it was 20 years ago. But then again, not much is the same as it was then. And mostly that's a good thing. But I do lament the loss of my illustrious head of hair. Next to my hands, it was my best feature. Sigh.
    I'll tell you, I'm looking pretty rough these days. I'm getting the leather skin and I haven't had a manicure in almost three years. I just removed the purple polish on my toes from the pedicure I got last July. My wardrobe is early thrift store and I've taken to looking in the men's section before I even go to the women's.
    I can remember when all the college girls wore men's Levi's because they fit better and frankly they looked better. I would rather wear them than Gloria Vanderbilt's or Calvin's any day — back when I could wear them. That was pre-stretch pants and drawstrings. Of course you had to consider the fact that the waist size was right out there for anyone to see, but back then the first digit began with a three and not a four so I was okay with that.
    I vow to never give up on my dream of having Meg Ryan hair. There has to be someone out there someplace who understands my inner Meg Ryan. And when I find him/her . . . I might just go into that famous scene at Katz's Deli, which I might note here was recently named Manliest of Sandwich Shops in America by Men's Health Magazine.    

My favorite designers are Levi Strauss and Fruit of the Loom  — Robin Wright
My favorite designers are Levi Strauss and Fruit of the Loom.


Connie Berry said…
i'm so glad you can see the resemblance!

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