I love to
watch a good television train wreck. I don’t mean a real, live Northeastern
Railroad smash up. I’m talking about Nancy Grace, nostrils flared in
indignation, interviewing pretty much anybody. I like how she asks the dirty
questions we all want to ask but can’t. I like how she chokes up every now and
then. I like how she clearly doesn’t care that she’s got really bad hair. I
like that handcuff necklace she wears in the CNN promos. She’s kind of badass.
And I love
watching The Little Couple. You all know how much I enjoy that one. I find
myself tearing up all the time when it’s on. Sometimes they’re tears of joy
because I’m so damn happy they adopted those two little babies. And God knows I
can’t believe all the crap they have to go through to live a happy life. Enough
already.
Then there’s
my infatuation with the Duggars. It’s like I don’t want to watch them purely on
principle. I don’t agree with their views on just about everything and yet, I see
them all standing there in their khaki pants and long jean skirts and Michelle
says, “and I delivered every one!” and I’m captivated. Amazing. Can you imagine
the stretch marks? I have to wonder if those kids don’t turn on each other when
the cameras are off, a little make-up to cover the black eyes.
I’ve been
obsessed with HGTV for years, long before Martha’s Vineyard was chosen for the
dream home. I watch it way too much. I love to watch the women when they say, “I
love the tray ceiling and the spa bathroom and the hardwoods and the stainless
steel, but these countertops aren’t granite. Why did you show us this house when
you know it doesn’t have our must-haves?”
I love to
watch the loosely described television journalists these days while they bait
the people they interview, trying desperately to get a sound bite to carry over
into the next day.
Lately I’ve
been watching Nellyville. There’s the St. Louis connection, but more than that,
he’s raising his own kids and his sister’s kids since she died of cancer. And
then there’s his scholarships and charity work. I know he’s got some raunchy
videos, but I’ve seen where he came from and that’s something. And he’s pretty
funny sometimes. I'm not going to apologize.
Remember
when we wanted to watch I Dream of Jeannie and Laugh-In and our parents
insisted on Gunsmoke? That used to really piss me off. And I had to turn the
sound practically off when I was in high school and wanted to watch Monty
Python. My dad wasn’t a fan of the British television shows, didn’t trust them.
“Times have
changed” doesn’t begin to cover it. I’m still not over Robby Benson and do you
remember the color of Bobby Sherman’s eyes? Oh, I do.
I miss those
days. As I write this, people are shouting on CNN where Dr. Drew has clearly
lost control of the show. Thank God in my mind, I’m still trying to master
walking while I do the funky chicken.
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