Skip to main content

Parent trap?

Lately I’ve noticed that I lean toward working in the children’s room at the library. I have a couple of guesses regarding this. A) No one else likes it. B) I’m so bitchy that I may be a good candidate for this special place.
I side with both.
Working in the children’s room allows me to make certain observations, namely that there’s a great divide between children who want to listen to their parent read a story aloud and kids who ask me for laptops. 
Then there’s the breastfeeding moms who manage to text while they nurse. Talk about multitasking. I can’t help but think about the little beams of cancer-causing agents going between her cellphone, her boobs, and her baby. I told you I’m bitchy. 
Then there are the harried moms who couldn’t possibly put away the 4,000 toys their kids just threw all over the cute little carpet in the room. I can’t blame them. They brought 42 toddlers with them, probably doing another 14 moms a favor, and it’s all they can do to open the door of their minivans. 
We have grandparents too. Wanna take a guess as to whether or not grandchildren put their toys and books away? That’s right. Grandma and Grandpa don’t leave without making junior put his stuff away. I love them and any other rogue parents who actually take the time to put away all the stuffed giraffes and teddy bears that inhabit the room. It’s even better if they get their son or daughter to help.
Today, though, was great. A little boy came in with his mom and he actually sat in a tiny wooden chair and listened while she read to him. I thought, “Wow, this mom is awesome and that little boy is great.” They tried out different seating areas…in a cubby-type place, in the middle of the floor on bean bags, and finally him in mom’s lap. 
They picked out a half-dozen books to take home and even promoted the putting away of toys to other moms and dads in the room. 
They came up to the “librarian’s desk” (real librarians have a degree—fake librarians such as myself do not). The little boy handed over his books while his mom searched for her library card. He looked me right in the eye and said, “When I ride in the car, I pick my nose.” 

I just lost it. After a day of the Dewey decimal system, a laugh felt great. Thank you, little man. 

Comments

Sharon Simonin said…
That is Hilarious!!! Love it!! ;) Honesty is the best policy and oh so funny!!

Sharon Simonin said…
That is Hilarious!! Love it!!

Popular posts from this blog

I might need a price check

So my husband Chris works three days a week in America, and I’m trying not to take this personally.
He’s commuting Monday mornings on the 6:30 ferry over to Cape Cod, where he works at an upholstery shop in Hyannis, the Mattydale of Cape Cod, for all you Syracuse readers. I stay here and hold down the fort, cooking up a cocktail of frozen pizzas and mac n’ cheese weeknights for my poor Danny. Chris comes back late Thursday night, all giddy over toilet paper prices and quotes on cheaper rent.
No, no, no, and more no I say. I can’t possibly leave all this off-season quiet and high-priced laundry detergent. There’s no convincing me to leave no matter how many times Chris points out that there’s a Trader Joe’s “over there.”
I want to stay here until I miraculously win on one of those $5 scratchers and can buy my own house here. The difference being that I feel confident that I will someday scratch my way to freedom while Chris thinks we’d be smarter to look into a nice rental “over there.…

Getting well takes baby steps

So I’ve had what you could call a case of the pneumonia. It was not pleasant. And to top it off it happened in San Antonio, Texas. Like I wasn’t sweating before the fever.
I was there to see my niece Michelle, who by the way kept asking me, “Are you going to write about this?” which is funny because she’s a writer too. I naturally said, “Oh no, of course not.” And here we are.
Thinking back, the best part of that trip teeters between meeting my two great-nephews, Oliver and Isaac, and having a couple of beers with their Yaya, my sister, who I haven’t had beers with in decades. Like I said, it’s a toss-up. There’s also the fact that I got to spend time with my niece’s husband Alex. He’s a hardcore military guy. He teaches other military guys how to be military policemen. I’m not going to gamble on writing anything about him. He’s from Wisconsin though, which I like. And he likes to cook, which I also like.
I thought to myself before I ever left my nice cocoon of Martha’s Vineyard to tra…

Who's got the soap?

I’m wondering at what age I’m allowed to hire a personal care attendant, covered by insurance of course. I haven’t reached my toenails in two and half years and the other day in the shower I seriously considered whether or not it was worth it to soap up below the waist. It hurts when I go anywhere past my kneecaps.
I’m okay with gray hair; that’s been coming in since I was in my 30s and I could still reach my ankles. It’s the burgeoning mountain under my man-sized T-shirts, just below my sagging breasts, that really gets to me. I want to know when exactly I stopped looking like I was 20, because it feels like yesterday. I look in the mirror strictly from the shoulders up these days.
It’s not completely depressing. I know there are about a billion other women in the same boat I’m in. I love the women who wear whatever the hell they want. Doesn’t matter if they’ve got those top-heavy grandma arms or busted veins mapping their legs. I say go for it ladies. I’m gonna get there someday.…